About to land

About to land

I cannot seem to be able to sleep for more than an hour at a time. This has been the way it has been since Tuesday July 30th and I can only now catch a glimmer of what sleep deprivation feels like. Of course I continue to remain cogent, but I do ask myself for how long! It was a terrible idea to try and quit at this time; the replacement pills do no good, I am hungry all the time but not satiated; and cannot calm down sufficiently to sleep—indeed, the effect of the pills, no matter how small or large a piece/dose I take, is to get me totally wired.

I am trying to get through it by keeping myself as calm as possible, and attending to work. Reading. One-hour naps. Eating. Exercising. Perspiring. The heat and humidity are insane. Knowing that I am here a week too early is not great either—it is like showing up expecting to work four days before Christmas. Why no one said this was not a good idea beats me. So staying calm and centered amidst all of this is … like … the easiest thing to do.

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